Thoughts on the Newly-Engaged State
First, holy sh** that just happened. (Profanity intended, its that serious)
Then, you can settle into the state of transition, which really means you cannot settle at all. Bring in tension, conflict of interest, and a changing of loyalties.
Also, bring in bliss, incandescence and comfort.
Also, feel small. Because the wedding industry is big- yes. But also feel small because marriage is huge. Marriage is magnanimous and eternal compared to your single, immediate-needs, and immediate-placating-of-those-needs life.
Feel celebrated because (hopefully) your friends and family are genuinely overwhelmed by the need to celebrate with you. They truly are just that honestly daggon happy for you and your fiance. They want to scream, buy champagne, and hug you till you both fall to the ground. Their joy is sincere- and will (hopefully) translate into wisdom and support during the real married years.
Feel humbled because you probably have never felt so celebrated, at least with such embarrasing and grandiose gestures.
Know that this is a time, a fleeting and special time, just to revel and prepare. So be humbled by their love, then do the same for them when life changes them in similiar ways.
Expect commentaries, phone calls, questions, tears, oh god, so many good & bad tears. Expect disappointment and confusion, and a fair amount of frustration.
Get overwhelmed for a second, just to see what it feels like, knowing that planning a wedding could squelch the vibrant spirit of celebration and bliss and foreverness. Then laugh and say “no, you will not steal my joy, wedding.” and continue on with the bliss and foreverness.
Sink into what is real: your marriage and your community. Because all the other boxes of decorations and planners are tangible illusions. Remember remember remember that this time stands by itself as vital to the health of your future. And remember remember remember, your betrothed and your vow, and the whole of the communal chorus of joy, humming for your lives.
